The Cake Is A Lie - Song by Kavalier Calm

Yes, we all know the “cake is a lie” jokes are a million years old, but check out this cool Portal-inspired song! Download the song for free here. Also, be sure to check out the wonderful minds over at Crowdsource Inspiration!


This was a joke. I’m making a note here: EPIC FAIL.
It’s hard to overstate my disappointment.
Lab rat of science—that’s all I ever was.
Because I can, I fought through the maze—trying to find cake.
And there’s sense crying over all of the lies.
You promised cake that doesn’t exist.
But the Science got done, and you made your gun.
And the truth dies with us lab rats.
And I’m angry. I’m being so sincere right now.
You didn’t care for my heart or if you killed me
and tore me to pieces. You teleported my atoms
and they burned as they transformed because I so hated you.
And solving your puzzles may have made me smile.
But I thought Alphas like me earned a treat.
And I’m sad I played your dishonest game
Now that I know the cake was a lie.
Please don’t leave me. I want out of this labyrinth.
I heard at Black Mesa they have brownies.
And your fake cake can’t tempt me any longer.
Look at me still solving puzzles like a good mouse.
GLaDOS writes the rules in Aperture’s house.
And I’ll work my way through these test chamber rooms.
Even though the cake is a lie. And believe me the cake is a lie.
The Science and cake is a lie. It feels AWFUL that the cake is a lie.
Fellow lab rats, the cake is a lie. We are dying for a lie.
The cake is a lie.